“These thoughts did not come in any verbal formulation. I rarely think in words at all. A thought comes, and I may try to express it in words afterward.”
Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein
We are having some technical difficulties. David is in Mauritius and has
very limited Internet connection and Lindsey's computer has decided to
stop working. When David gets back, Lindsey will be away. This has made it extremely difficult to sit down and write
the blogs as a unit. At first, we thought it might be wise to halt the blogs
until there is a solution to our situation. But then, we thought of documenting our experience with this:
How to have a short term long distance enlightening relationship?
Well, the short answer is that we combined our knowledge and tips from these two blog posts: Has Your Relationship become a Bad Habit? and Knock Knock, Who's There?... YOU I hope! . If you recall, in the former blog we said that an enlightening
relationship for us is one where we, by virtue of who we are, help each
other get to where we want to be in life on an intellectual, physical,
emotional, and spiritual level. How do we do that being physically separated for a just over a month? Here's a short description of how we're doing it:
The process was quite unplanned and organic, but it worked out because we're applying the tips from the second blog post that we mentioned. With a 9 hour difference between Mauritius and Canada, we don't Skype, chat, or call. In fact, we didn't even set any rules for communicating before separating. It was more like: "let's go with the flow since it will only be for 5 weeks".
It turns out that email has been the preferred vehicle for our version of an enlightening short term long distance relationship. As you know however, it's not the vehicle that counts, but what the vehicle is transporting. In our case, our emails carry a kind of reflective journal back and forth.
Looking back at some of our exchanges, it seems that what makes them so rich is that rather than simply documenting our days to each other, we seem to be verbalizing our deepest thoughts on our experiences throughout the day (as the quote up top says). The best way to describe it is that instead of merely keeping each other up to date with our lives; we are using emails as reflective journals.
What this does is that it transforms the conversation from one that is simply transactional to one that is transformational: the content of the emails seem to stimulate the intellect, emotions, and spirit of the writer and reader. So when your partner reads your email it's kind of like reading a great autobiography with many layers to it! That's how we feel at least...
What this does is that it transforms the conversation from one that is simply transactional to one that is transformational: the content of the emails seem to stimulate the intellect, emotions, and spirit of the writer and reader. So when your partner reads your email it's kind of like reading a great autobiography with many layers to it! That's how we feel at least...
In other words, the connection and individual energy levels that we had before we were physically separated do not die out and are not even paused. They grow despite the distance. With the reflective journal mentality, we are adding value to each other by asking powerful questions and by sharing meaningful experiences. The email exchanges have been so great that we feel we are starting our relationship over after reading and writing because we explore new territory together through them (that was one of the tips we shared with you in our last blog for an enlightening relationship). How cool is that?
So far, some examples of our email exchanges surround our relationship's present state of growth, the condition of senior citizens, staying healthy on vacation, the source of happiness, being in the now, our zen strategies, our experiences in our physical environments, and our days' highlights and how it affected or changed us, the past, and the future. These conversations feels natural, full, and insightful!
In one sentence, we are doing our best to apply the zen tips of being in the now with each other through email.
Tips for a short term long distance enlightening relationship?
- reflect throughout your day on what is happening to you and your environment
- when you get a chance afterwards, talk to your partner as though you talk to your journal, try to be receptive to responses and questions
- read and re-read the tips presented at the bottom of Knock Knock, Who's There?... YOU I hope! and apply them to your email, Skype chat, or telephone exchanges. Trust, they help!
- tell them how you feel about them in the moment in your most genuine way
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| http://www.theafronews.ca/2010/11/24/4939/cb055265/ |
Peace out,
D (from Mauritius) L (from Canada)
